Where The Light Comes In

Hi friends! I am so glad I'm able to share part two of this Epilepsy update! Part one: https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2018/11/broken-being-healed-in-unexpected-ways.html The Forth Test: The forth test is supposed to be a 72 hour EEG, but unfortunately, we've hit an insurance snag and it's been put on hold. We aren't sure what's coming next for our family, but we are trying to trust Jesus. My biggest goal is to be found faithful. I want to be faithful. I want to be obedient and a faithful servant of my God and King. He is so worthy and it is a privilege to worship Him. It is a privilege to experience this pain. He's granted me the gift of suffering! This suffering, these trials, this ache is an opportunity and a blessing. My worship has grown and my relationship with God has blossomed. I have a more intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father and King! What a privilege! So no, we don't have answers, we're currently at a stand still and hones

Hi friends! I am so excited to finally share an update with you! In case you've missed it here are some p revious posts I've written about Epilepsy and my journey with JME (Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy) : https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2018/07/a-new-perspective.html   (most recent) https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2018/07/update-update-update.html   (last update) https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2017/11/hello-epilepsy.html https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2016/11/disability-or-reability-my-epilepsy.html https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2016/09/my-hallelujah-song.html https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2015/06/silent-pain.html From the start of our journey to a diagnosis to where we are today... My First Doctor's Appointment: The doctor's appointment went nothing like we expected! It was so hard and not what we hoped for! It was definitely broken and it wrecked me! We got up and we got to the appointment on time-- woot woot! (I tho

This is such a holy experience. Re-living these moments. So much freedom. I feel such a responsibility to tell this story well, but I'm just going to rest and trust and lean into the Lord. I was seven years old and had just experienced a horrible, horrible abuse that broke me to my very core. I was lost, broken, and afraid. I was raised by wonderful, imperfect, amazing, Jesus-loving parents, we went to church and they led me well, but I didn't have a personal, saving relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus wasn't my Savior and the Lord of my life. I was at enmity with God. I was a sinner in great need of a Savior and His redemption. One day I walked up to the kitchen table where Mom was standing helping one of my siblings and told her so timidly that I needed to talk to her later. We were laying on the bed and Jesus did the most incredible thing- He broke me and healed me in an indescribable way. In a glorious, truly miraculous way. He convicted me and showed me who I rea

It's my choice. I can feel less than. I can feel not enough. I can feel like I'll never measure up. I can feel like the grass is always greener on the other side. I can believe the lie that I'm not making a difference. I can believe that I'm alone, that I'm the only one chasing these dreams. I can believe that it's all about me. OR I can know and live truth that it's not about me. I am less than without Jesus. I am not enough without Jesus. I will never measure up without Jesus. The grass is always greener where you water it. I am making a difference because of Jesus. I am not alone because of Jesus. It is all about Jesus. I'm combating the lies! The lies Satan pours over me. The lies I'm drowning in. The lies that I'm letting stop me from pursuing the things of God. The things He is laying on my heart to pursue. I am in a season of beginnings, of new and different, of remembering, of working through big, hard things. As I

It's hard to be single in a world that says that's not enough. It's hard to feel "not enough". It's hard to feel left out in a crowd of people in relationships, married, or engaged. It's hard to see someone persuing that girl over there and feeling that ache because no one is pursuing you. It's hard to feel all the feels that come with being single. I'm right there with you, sweet sister! ♥️ You're not alone. BUT God has something magical in store for us and I want to talk about it with you! We can't stay stuck in this wondering, mourning, questioning, whatever negative feelings you've got going on because God calls us to something MORE! Something bigger than ourselves. Something that isn't focused on us or our desires for a husband. Something greater than we could ever ask or imagine. He calls us to live FOR HIM! Not for ourselves and if you're anything like me, that's a hard lesson to learn and a struggle to live by. It

Any other Phineas and Ferb fans out there? Haha! "Monday! Monday!! Monday!!!"- Isabella 😂 Anyway-- Hi sweet friends! :) I am going to be sharing some updates for anyone curious and to document where God has us right now. :) This first one is all about where I'm at with epilepsy and what's coming soon for our family in this area. In the next post I will be sharing an update about my journey living with sexual assault and overcoming it and how the Lord is restoring. The third post will be my story of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and where I'm at/how things are going in this season. There will definitely be more updates because a lot has been happening around here. I always want to share and be open, as well as documenting this journey for myself and so others can see and be reminded of the goodness of God! Much love and I hope these posts bless and encourage you! Let's talk Epilepsy first. For those of you who are new to my story, here is the sup

Dear future husband, Someday the "future" is going to be taken out of that, but until then I think I'm just going to write and write and write to you and praise the Lord for this season and when the "future" is my "right now" we will all be able to see how good God has been and how far He has brought me and we can all rejoice in the Lord over His goodness, power, mercy, and truly amazing grace! The Lord has been teaching me so much about relationships, marriage, and singleness over the last two/three years and I'm so grateful! He has been teaching more recently about contentment and finding my worth, satisfaction, fulfilment, and joy...and everything else in Him alone! Not Him plus anything else! Him ALONE! I'm going to be really honest and say, that's been hard for me. It's hard and then He reminds me and shows me more of how truly awesome He is! He shows me so much of Himself-- what He's done and who He is. He shows me that He

Many of you probably already know that we have moved, but I wanted to share some details and tell you about some crazy awesome things the Lord has done for our family!! We've been needing to move for quite a while, but had not been in a position where that was possible for our family until recently. The Lord could have moved mountains years ago when this need to move first arose, but He didn't. It wasn't His plan. It wasn't His will for our family back then. We questioned. We asked our fair share of whys. We got frustrated and even at times angry. Our situation was very difficult and honestly, it was so beyond hard. We at times struggled to trust God, to trust that He really was working, as He promised, for our good and His glory. We struggled believing there was good ahead, that there would be deliverance. We struggled and were so weary by the end of the journey. But God gave us an end!! He graciously forgave when we repented! He graciously reminded us of truth! He g

Lately I've been feeling all the feels. I've been feeling like I'm way to much and way to little. Like I'm freaking people out with my passion and not measuring up at the same time. I've been battling it out with the lies that if I'm not perfect I'm not good enough. If I do this or if I don't do that I'm not worth it, I'm a mess up. That I am an imperfect, unredeemable mess up. I'll never get better and be all I want to be and all I think I should be. I've been believing lies and getting stuck. Stuck in the brokenness and imperfection and honestly, getting stuck in the lie that it's all about me. I've been forgetting that my worth is not in what I am or am not. My worth is not in what I do or don't do. {{We are called to be obedient to the Lord! God has given commands and convictions and we are absolutely commanded to obey and follow where He leads! We are to pursue righteousness and godliness! But we must also remember that w

Dear future husband, I won't try to predict or pretend I know what the future holds. Only God knows what our lives will look like and what is coming next. Only He knows the valleys and mountain tops we will experience and stumble through. Only He knows who you are and the story of how we will meet and fall in love. Only He knows and I'm so grateful! I'm grateful that I don't have time to run the other way out of fear, I'm grateful I don't see the brokenness and redemption that will happen, I'm grateful that I get this opportunity to sit back and watch in awe as the Lord works in our lives and brings glory to Himself through our story. Something I do know is this: by His grace, I am so broken. My brokenness isn't mine alone-- it affects the people around me and by that token, you. It affects you. I'm tempted to say that I am so very sorry, but I'll bite my tongue because I don't ever want to apologise for the work of God and the story, no mat