Dear future husband,
I won't try to predict or pretend I know what the future holds. Only God knows what our lives will look like and what is coming next. Only He knows the valleys and mountain tops we will experience and stumble through. Only He knows who you are and the story of how we will meet and fall in love. Only He knows and I'm so grateful! I'm grateful that I don't have time to run the other way out of fear, I'm grateful I don't see the brokenness and redemption that will happen, I'm grateful that I get this opportunity to sit back and watch in awe as the Lord works in our lives and brings glory to Himself through our story. Something I do know is this: by His grace, I am so broken. My brokenness isn't mine alone-- it affects the people around me and by that token, you. It affects you. I'm tempted to say that I am so very sorry, but I'll bite my tongue because I don't ever want to apologise for the work of God and the story, no matter how broken, He wrote. He wrote my story before the beginning of time and with that He, with great intention and purpose, planned for brokenness to be a great part of my story. I will boast in this story and I am praying you will with me, for the much deserved glory of God! That it would bless His name and be pleasing unto Him. That He would be praised and we would be drawn to deeper worship. That the world would see His goodness in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13)! I do want to tell you with such genuine sincerity, thank you! Thank you for loving me so very broken and pursuing me. Thank you for pursuing Jesus first and always and with such fire and passion. Thank you for pursuing my heart and leading me closer to the Lord. You have most likely experienced my pushing you away and most likely have sought the Lord and maybe questioned if you were supposed to let go or pursue with great intention. I have trauma induced irrational fears and with that I push people away or I lean in. You've probably experienced both. It's scary to tell you about how much I love cold pineapple spears and how much I love sour things. How Kait and I used to bring sour Skittles to everything and it was the best and I'm still totally obsessed. ;) How I eat lemons with such enjoyment and I wait to see how long it will take before I start making crazy facial expressions-- haha! It's scary because even the littlest things mean something and they're a part of my heart and letting you in is terrifying! Leaning into you is terrifying! I once loved a man that claimed to love me and seemed to care deeply for me and he broke me in ways I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fully express or even understand to the fullest extent. Letting you in makes me vulnerable and letting you in means giving you a part of my heart, a really big part. That's super scary because this heart of mine has been through so much and even the smallest possibly of it getting broken by another man who says he loves me makes me want to run the other way. But God!!!! I've pushed and I've shoved and I've hurt people and God, by His great mercy-- His compassion and forgiveness and His amazing, abundant grace has never let me stay there. He's never left me alone in my mess to carry it by myself and push people away because it seems safer in the moment. He has always pursued me and always gently lead me and taught me hard truths with such great love. Praise Him! Praise the Lord! How great is our God!! You've probably experienced some form of my pushing you away, but I think we have also seen His grace and goodness in Him allowing me to push against my broken nature and the natural instinct that comes with this brokenness. We have seen His kindness in leading us both in this and navigating these deep and broken waters. We have seen His goodness in equipping you to pursue and lead well. We have seen His goodness and I am just so grateful! Praise the Lord! God is so kind! ❤️
xoxo,
your future bride
*huge, massive, giant disclaimer: I am not in a relationship nor am I writing this to a specific person! :) This is just some things the Lord has laid on my heart and lead me to share and I hope it in some way blesses you, sweet friend! :)
I won't try to predict or pretend I know what the future holds. Only God knows what our lives will look like and what is coming next. Only He knows the valleys and mountain tops we will experience and stumble through. Only He knows who you are and the story of how we will meet and fall in love. Only He knows and I'm so grateful! I'm grateful that I don't have time to run the other way out of fear, I'm grateful I don't see the brokenness and redemption that will happen, I'm grateful that I get this opportunity to sit back and watch in awe as the Lord works in our lives and brings glory to Himself through our story. Something I do know is this: by His grace, I am so broken. My brokenness isn't mine alone-- it affects the people around me and by that token, you. It affects you. I'm tempted to say that I am so very sorry, but I'll bite my tongue because I don't ever want to apologise for the work of God and the story, no matter how broken, He wrote. He wrote my story before the beginning of time and with that He, with great intention and purpose, planned for brokenness to be a great part of my story. I will boast in this story and I am praying you will with me, for the much deserved glory of God! That it would bless His name and be pleasing unto Him. That He would be praised and we would be drawn to deeper worship. That the world would see His goodness in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13)! I do want to tell you with such genuine sincerity, thank you! Thank you for loving me so very broken and pursuing me. Thank you for pursuing Jesus first and always and with such fire and passion. Thank you for pursuing my heart and leading me closer to the Lord. You have most likely experienced my pushing you away and most likely have sought the Lord and maybe questioned if you were supposed to let go or pursue with great intention. I have trauma induced irrational fears and with that I push people away or I lean in. You've probably experienced both. It's scary to tell you about how much I love cold pineapple spears and how much I love sour things. How Kait and I used to bring sour Skittles to everything and it was the best and I'm still totally obsessed. ;) How I eat lemons with such enjoyment and I wait to see how long it will take before I start making crazy facial expressions-- haha! It's scary because even the littlest things mean something and they're a part of my heart and letting you in is terrifying! Leaning into you is terrifying! I once loved a man that claimed to love me and seemed to care deeply for me and he broke me in ways I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fully express or even understand to the fullest extent. Letting you in makes me vulnerable and letting you in means giving you a part of my heart, a really big part. That's super scary because this heart of mine has been through so much and even the smallest possibly of it getting broken by another man who says he loves me makes me want to run the other way. But God!!!! I've pushed and I've shoved and I've hurt people and God, by His great mercy-- His compassion and forgiveness and His amazing, abundant grace has never let me stay there. He's never left me alone in my mess to carry it by myself and push people away because it seems safer in the moment. He has always pursued me and always gently lead me and taught me hard truths with such great love. Praise Him! Praise the Lord! How great is our God!! You've probably experienced some form of my pushing you away, but I think we have also seen His grace and goodness in Him allowing me to push against my broken nature and the natural instinct that comes with this brokenness. We have seen His kindness in leading us both in this and navigating these deep and broken waters. We have seen His goodness in equipping you to pursue and lead well. We have seen His goodness and I am just so grateful! Praise the Lord! God is so kind! ❤️
xoxo,
your future bride
*huge, massive, giant disclaimer: I am not in a relationship nor am I writing this to a specific person! :) This is just some things the Lord has laid on my heart and lead me to share and I hope it in some way blesses you, sweet friend! :)
Comments
Post a Comment