Where The Light Comes In

It's a scary thing to not know if you're dying from a terrible illness. It's a scary thing to look at life with the perspective of a dying person. It's a scary thing to question yourself, to micromanage yourself, to try to make sure you tell all your people you love them and try to explain just how much...just in case. It's scary, broken, terrifying, it makes my insides...it breaks me, it is scary...I don't know how to describe it. Maybe because I don't want to, maybe my heart is just breaking and I just can't get there. I can't really go there and really try to sort through it...I'm not sure, but I do know that I can physically feel the ache. Not getting stuck in the "what if?" and vain imaginings. Not trying to escape it all. Trying to live right here. To sit, just sit here and watch as God works and does wonders too many to declare...is really hard. It is so hard fighting to surrender and truly rest here. To truly, genuinely accept...

Hi friends! I am so glad I'm able to share part two of this Epilepsy update! Part one: https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2018/11/broken-being-healed-in-unexpected-ways.html The Forth Test: The forth test is supposed to be a 72 hour EEG, but unfortunately, we've hit an insurance snag and it's been put on hold. We aren't sure what's coming next for our family, but we are trying to trust Jesus. My biggest goal is to be found faithful. I want to be faithful. I want to be obedient and a faithful servant of my God and King. He is so worthy and it is a privilege to worship Him. It is a privilege to experience this pain. He's granted me the gift of suffering! This suffering, these trials, this ache is an opportunity and a blessing. My worship has grown and my relationship with God has blossomed. I have a more intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father and King! What a privilege! So no, we don't have answers, we're currently at a stand sti...

Hi friends! I am so excited to finally share an update with you! In case you've missed it here are some p revious posts I've written about Epilepsy and my journey with JME (Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy) : https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2018/07/a-new-perspective.html   (most recent) https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2018/07/update-update-update.html   (last update) https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2017/11/hello-epilepsy.html https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2016/11/disability-or-reability-my-epilepsy.html https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2016/09/my-hallelujah-song.html https://bayleykatherine.blogspot.com/2015/06/silent-pain.html From the start of our journey to a diagnosis to where we are today... My First Doctor's Appointment: The doctor's appointment went nothing like we expected! It was so hard and not what we hoped for! It was definitely broken and it wrecked me! We got up and we got to the appointment on t...

Any other Phineas and Ferb fans out there? Haha! "Monday! Monday!! Monday!!!"- Isabella 😂 Anyway-- Hi sweet friends! :) I am going to be sharing some updates for anyone curious and to document where God has us right now. :) This first one is all about where I'm at with epilepsy and what's coming soon for our family in this area. In the next post I will be sharing an update about my journey living with sexual assault and overcoming it and how the Lord is restoring. The third post will be my story of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and where I'm at/how things are going in this season. There will definitely be more updates because a lot has been happening around here. I always want to share and be open, as well as documenting this journey for myself and so others can see and be reminded of the goodness of God! Much love and I hope these posts bless and encourage you! Let's talk Epilepsy first. For those of you who are new to my story, here is the sup...