Where The Light Comes In

Dear future husband, Someday the "future" is going to be taken out of that, but until then I think I'm just going to write and write and write to you and praise the Lord for this season and when the "future" is my "right now" we will all be able to see how good God has been and how far He has brought me and we can all rejoice in the Lord over His goodness, power, mercy, and truly amazing grace! The Lord has been teaching me so much about relationships, marriage, and singleness over the last two/three years and I'm so grateful! He has been teaching more recently about contentment and finding my worth, satisfaction, fulfilment, and joy...and everything else in Him alone! Not Him plus anything else! Him ALONE! I'm going to be really honest and say, that's been hard for me. It's hard and then He reminds me and shows me more of how truly awesome He is! He shows me so much of Himself-- what He's done and who He is. He shows me that He...

Many of you probably already know that we have moved, but I wanted to share some details and tell you about some crazy awesome things the Lord has done for our family!! We've been needing to move for quite a while, but had not been in a position where that was possible for our family until recently. The Lord could have moved mountains years ago when this need to move first arose, but He didn't. It wasn't His plan. It wasn't His will for our family back then. We questioned. We asked our fair share of whys. We got frustrated and even at times angry. Our situation was very difficult and honestly, it was so beyond hard. We at times struggled to trust God, to trust that He really was working, as He promised, for our good and His glory. We struggled believing there was good ahead, that there would be deliverance. We struggled and were so weary by the end of the journey. But God gave us an end!! He graciously forgave when we repented! He graciously reminded us of truth! He g...

Lately I've been feeling all the feels. I've been feeling like I'm way to much and way to little. Like I'm freaking people out with my passion and not measuring up at the same time. I've been battling it out with the lies that if I'm not perfect I'm not good enough. If I do this or if I don't do that I'm not worth it, I'm a mess up. That I am an imperfect, unredeemable mess up. I'll never get better and be all I want to be and all I think I should be. I've been believing lies and getting stuck. Stuck in the brokenness and imperfection and honestly, getting stuck in the lie that it's all about me. I've been forgetting that my worth is not in what I am or am not. My worth is not in what I do or don't do. {{We are called to be obedient to the Lord! God has given commands and convictions and we are absolutely commanded to obey and follow where He leads! We are to pursue righteousness and godliness! But we must also remember that w...

Dear future husband, I won't try to predict or pretend I know what the future holds. Only God knows what our lives will look like and what is coming next. Only He knows the valleys and mountain tops we will experience and stumble through. Only He knows who you are and the story of how we will meet and fall in love. Only He knows and I'm so grateful! I'm grateful that I don't have time to run the other way out of fear, I'm grateful I don't see the brokenness and redemption that will happen, I'm grateful that I get this opportunity to sit back and watch in awe as the Lord works in our lives and brings glory to Himself through our story. Something I do know is this: by His grace, I am so broken. My brokenness isn't mine alone-- it affects the people around me and by that token, you. It affects you. I'm tempted to say that I am so very sorry, but I'll bite my tongue because I don't ever want to apologise for the work of God and the story, no mat...

Hi, beautiful friends! I'm so glad you're here and we have this opportunity to worship together! I think a lot of the world knows that Epilepsy exists and that people have it, but I think that people very rarely understand what epilepsy is or what all it entails, so I'd like to share my story in hopes that it will bring further understanding, answer any questions you may have and mostly, to glorify God. DISCLAIMER: there are going to be holes in this story. Because of the emotional and physical trauma I don't remember everything, in fact I remember very little most days. Also, there will be some somewhat graphic content. Please bear with me and hopefully this will make sense and bring blessings. (It all starts in 2011:)) According to my mom I had been feeling very bad surrounding my first seizure. I think there were lots of headaches and body aches, but don't hold me to that. ;) My first seizure (WARNING: graphic content): I was at a sleepover with the youth g...

 I feel the Lord is calling me to something much bigger than myself. I feel Him calling me to a ministry. I feel Him calling me to use this voice and the story that He graciously gave me to lead others. To lead them to something much bigger than themselves. Something so much greater and so much more beautiful than them and me. Something bigger than you, my dear reader. Something bigger and greater and more beautiful than we could ever imagine, even in our wildest dreams. This "something" I am talking about is the glory of God. I want you to behold our great Father. I want you to learn and grow and be, just be (more on that coming very soon!). As broken people in a broken world we forget, at least I often do, to worship during the broken moments. We need Jesus to lead us and hold us up. We need each other. We need to worship, broken brothers and sisters. You and I, we need to worship!! God has called us to not be idle and stay put, so here I am, not staying put. Today is ano...

Tonight I stumbled (not really because,... Jesus) across an 'I am second' video of Chip and Joanna Gaines and it absolutely wrecked me!! Mrs. Joanna talked about how she is a rule follower to a tee and how she likes structure. She said she always thought "if you play by the rules, you'll be blessed" and then God gave her Mr. Chip and He showed her that "when you take a step out on faith, when it makes absolutely no sense, I think that's where the greater reward is. There's no telling where that will take you." Every word they said in this interview was beautiful, inspiring and life-changing!! I have struggled so much in the past few weeks, months, years, and, really, my whole life with being a 'follow all the rules to a tee and you'll be blessed' attitude and it has absolutely broken me! It has made my heart hurt. It has given me panic attacks and anxiety to the max. I could never succeed and do it just right. I will never be ab...