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I Am Second® - Chip & Joanna Gaines

Tonight I stumbled (not really because,... Jesus) across an 'I am second' video of Chip and Joanna Gaines and it absolutely wrecked me!!

Mrs. Joanna talked about how she is a rule follower to a tee and how she likes structure. She said she always thought "if you play by the rules, you'll be blessed" and then God gave her Mr. Chip and He showed her that "when you take a step out on faith, when it makes absolutely no sense, I think that's where the greater reward is. There's no telling where that will take you."

Every word they said in this interview was beautiful, inspiring and life-changing!!

I have struggled so much in the past few weeks, months, years, and, really, my whole life with being a 'follow all the rules to a tee and you'll be blessed' attitude and it has absolutely broken me! It has made my heart hurt. It has given me panic attacks and anxiety to the max. I could never succeed and do it just right. I will never be able to do it just right. I will never be perfect and that realization has absolutely broken my heart and I am still struggling so much with it!!

People might not see the struggle that goes on in my head and heart, but it's there and it hurts so bad!! It is a struggle that I feel like is never going to stop breaking me and hurting my heart. I know, however, that my Savior lives and I can face uncertain days because He is alive and active and He hears every broken cry of my heart!!

Today God taught me so much about Himself. He reminded me of truths from His word and He showed me how to better live for HIM. I am second.

It was beautiful.

He showed me that I have been selfish, prideful, rude, and arrogant. He showed me that I have been hiding because of sin that is in my life. He showed my that I need to stop living by all the rules and start living with abandon. I need to be obedient but I need so desperately to stop being legalistic and guarded. I need to stop letting satan in!! I need to stop listening to his lies and start believing God's truths!!

Mr. Chip and Mrs. Joanna's words were truly a blessing and God used them to change me and convict me. I am praying He does the same for you!!

Please take a moment to watch this wonderful video and be blessed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA7Qaj-3pJw

In Christ,
Bayley
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