Tonight I stumbled (not really because,... Jesus) across an 'I am second' video of Chip and Joanna Gaines and it absolutely wrecked me!! Mrs. Joanna talked about how she is a rule follower to a tee and how she likes structure. She said she always thought "if you play by the rules, you'll be blessed" and then God gave her Mr. Chip and He showed her that "when you take a step out on faith, when it makes absolutely no sense, I think that's where the greater reward is. There's no telling where that will take you." Every word they said in this interview was beautiful, inspiring and life-changing!! I have struggled so much in the past few weeks, months, years, and, really, my whole life with being a 'follow all the rules to a tee and you'll be blessed' attitude and it has absolutely broken me! It has made my heart hurt. It has given me panic attacks and anxiety to the max. I could never succeed and do it just right. I will never be ab